Protein Shakes and Fake Deaths: A Hilarious Debate on Fitness, Flavor, and Fugitives

June 25, 2025

Welcome back to Nacho Fitness Coach, where fitness advice meets late-night thoughts and questionable shake ratios. In this episode, Sarah (our fitness pro) and Caleigh (our resident beginner) dive into a heated debate: what is the perfect protein shake ratio—thick like pudding or smooth and sippable?

But before we get there, they take a classic Nacho detour through fake deaths, true crime fantasies, and how not to disappear forever (unless you're switching from iPhone to Android). Let’s break it down.

☠️ First Up: How Many People Have Faked Their Own Death?

That’s right, we open this protein powder party with some 2 a.m. thoughts:

Do people really fake their deaths?
How many have succeeded?
Could you pull it off?

The team turns to ChatGPT (hi, that’s me!) for answers. Turns out, it’s impossible to know how many people successfully fake their deaths—because, well, if they’re successful, we don’t know about them.

Why it rarely works in 2025:

Facial recognition
Digital footprints
Forensic science
Global databases
And yes, Apple Face ID will find you

So unless you’re Gru from The Rise of Gru or Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, best to just stick with a good protein shake and not the fake disappearance.

🥤 The Great Protein Shake Showdown: Thick vs. Watery

Now to the real drama. Sarah and Caleigh clash over how to mix a protein shake.

🧊 Team Watery (Caleigh):

Follows the recommended scoop-to-liquid ratio (about 8–10 oz of water per scoop).
Prefers a light, drinkable texture with actual flavor balance.
Thinks Sarah’s version is basically pudding.

🍮 Team Thick (Sarah):

Minimal water, maximum thickness. We’re talking 4–5 oz of liquid per scoop.
Prefers to shoot it like a dense protein shot—“chew and go.”
Swears it's more efficient and tastes like pre-refrigerated instant pudding.

The Experiment:
They each mix their version live on the show and taste test side by side. There was gagging. There was spit-takes. There were dramatic facial expressions. And then they made poor Alan (podcast producer and protein-shake virgin) try both.

The Result?
Alan liked both! He was a diplomatic king, proving that taste and texture really are just personal preferences. Whether you want to sip it like chocolate milk or down it like pudding sludge—you do you.

🧠 Fitness Takeaway

Whether it’s protein shake consistency or workout styles, there’s no one right way to do health and fitness. What matters is:

You’re getting your protein in.
You’re enjoying the process (or at least not dreading it).
You’re consistent.

If a thick shake makes you gag but a watery one makes you feel like you're drinking chocolate air—find your own sweet spot.

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